127 Hours (Runtime 93 Minutes)

  What the WHAT. This is a movie based on a true story, about a man who went hiking by himself, then in some freak accident of nature, got his hand caught between a boulder and a cave wall and eventually to escape he had to CUT HIS ARM OFF. Hello, my worst nightmare ever. Let's start giving credit where credit is due, director Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionare) and actor James Franco (if you don't know who he is, find a computer or something) prove that they are both huge forces in their respective fields. This movie accomplishes the incredible and daunting task of producing an engaging, entertaining and well made movie that basically consists of one scene. I mean, about twelve minutes into the movie he gets stuck. Sooo....he's stuck. I mean imagine pitching that:

"So, I wanna do this movie, it's this guy who has his arm stuck and he can't move"
"He's stuck? What do you mean he's stuck?"
"Like his arm is pinned down, he's stuck he can't move"
"Are there other people around him?"
"No, he's in a cave"
"What?"
"He was hiking by himself, so he's in this cave alone"
"So what this is like a short or an independent project?"
"No, it'll be a full length, feature film"
"...."

See how crazy?? But lemme tell you, they (Franco & Boyle) blow it out of the water. The movie is SO compelling that not only was I on the literal edge of my seat, and I bit all my nails off (an unfortunate habit that my mother abhors)  I became one of those crazy people who talks during the movie, reacting to things as they are happening. In my mind for those minutes it was as if I magically solved the time space continuum and could with my utterances of "oh shit oh shit close the water. Just close the nalgene, it's going to fall. FUCK" somehow save James Franco, and in turn the real Aron Ralston. They were whispers though, don't worry, my movie etiquette is top notch. There's not really much more to say, even knowing what happens (in the six minutes his arm wasn't stuck during the movie, I kept trying to predict when it would happen, he would be walking touching all the rocks and my mind was going, "Don't do that. Don't do that, put your hands in your pockets") doesn't take anything away from the tension the film creates. It was basically akin to having an adrenaline rush for 93 minutes from doing nothing, from sitting in a chair eating popcorn. Incredible.

The Truth of This Grit Was Somewhat In Question

It is not to say that this movie was bad, only that it did not hold up its own end of the bargain. When I entered the film house to view this movie I thought I was going to be watching a revenge western, something akin to the smushing together of No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood. There were many high quality actors billed to the film, and the story looked to be compelling. However, as more time bore on, especially the time that took place  at the end of the movie, I hitched up my pants in quiet confusion and left the theatre with a befuddled look upon my face.

There is good acting, do not get me wrong, Jeff Bridges either remained in a state of intoxication throughout the whole film or an incredibly good actor. Matt Damon far from his days as a gifted janitor strikes a unique balance of manly feminine charm as a Texas Ranger and seems to have an unspoken affinity for the other star of the picture, a fourteen year old spitfire. This odd relationship takes an odd route through the course of the film and results in many curious endeavors, most notably a spanking LaBouef (Damon) may have taken a mite too much pleasure in. The pint sized heroine, Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld) who is merely trying to avenge her fathers death, looks for brawn for hire in the town where he father was murdered, and settles on a mean marshall (Bridges) only to discover that there is another man already on the job. This unlikely pairing, remains unlikely because the two gentlemen quickly discover they cannot ride together and split up to pursue the same goal separately, a fellow named Tom Chaney (played by Josh Brolin, second only to the villain he played in 2008 in the film W.).

Mattie of course imposes herself onto the self-proclaimed lone wolf Marshall, Rooster Cogburn, for what seems like the umpteenth time she has asserted her will and gotten her way in the film. Her bossy way of speaking without contractions (that second descriptor applies to everyone in the film) becomes slightly endearing as time passes, but in the beginning, merely paints her as an unlikable and annoying child whom has too high an opinion of her own smarts and too low a supply of adults to put her in her place.

The journey to find Tom Chaney is an interesting one, full of the deep woodsy confessions that only being alone with others in the outdoors can extract from a man. Some particular scenes of violence emerge, of a caliber I was not anticipating. There is the murder of two men in a cabin and also the discovery and later cutting down of a hanged man in a tree. The three characters after Chaney; Mattie, Rooster and LaBouef act like stubborn tributaries, constantly coming together and separating only to come together once more in their shared pursuit.

At the conclusion of this venture, an outcome of which I will not divulge, the movie then fastforwards many years into the future and concludes with a jarring last scene, that like the rare cross-germinated plum on an apple tree, simply did not fit in. Upon his invitation, a much older Mattie Ross, who shares little to no physical features with her portrayed childhood self, goes to visit the old Marshall in his new home, the traveling circus, where he performs feats of bravado for strangers and money. Abruptly, she is told that he is dead. She visits his grave and has a brief overview of her life, mostly that she has chosen to remain unmarried, then the audience is greeted by the scrolling of the credits. This odd encapsulation in my mind does much to negate and obfuscate the work that the previous two hours of action did, and leaves the viewer in, as aforementioned, somewhat of a befuddled state. Maybe the light of this Coen genius will shine on me in the future and I will awake to the cinematic glory that this movie has been hailed as, but for the time being, I will say that I did not care for the direction of the film, nor for its ending. However I have much respect for the participant parties and did enjoy myself for the greater middle portion of the movie.

Tron Sucked

Um, where to even start. This movie was honestly so bad. You know I had hoped that Avatar was a one time thing that didn't set off a chain reaction of movies that are visually compelling but lacking in literally every other category (such as plot, character development and dialogue; you know unimportant things in movies like that) But between two movies I just saw in previews (Transformers: Dark of the Moon- WTF,  a movie about people trapped in a cave by someone too talented to be making it) and this little gem right here, it would seem that my hopes have been misplaced.

If I hadn't literally seen True Grit hours before I watched this, my opinion of Jeff Bridges would have taken a little bit of a nosedive. Watching him argue inarticulately with a sort of Benjamin Button ageless form of himself was actually painful, the times when it wasn't mind numbingly boring.  For people who suffered head injuries in the near to recent past and didn't grasp the plot of this movie from the thirty second commercials that were everywhere for about a four month period, basically, there is a video game Jeff Bridges created and is now stuck in, and his son goes in to get him, after growing up thinking he abandoned him. How sad. To say that this movie is predictable is like saying that a homeless person in New York in the winter is "uncomfortable." At about eight minutes into the movie it's clear that everyone's goal is to get through the portal (back to the real world). Then they....get through the portal. There are approximately four cool scenes in the movie, mainly the ones that revolve around panoramic scene shots, and involve no characters or dialogue. If you pay money to see this movie, which I don't really recommend doing, you should go all the way and do 3D. I honestly don't know what would compel anyone to watch this movie if it weren't for the special effects, but I saw Step Up 3 in 2D, (and enjoyed myself) so I think my opinion is somewhat compromised in this matter.

Back to Tron! I mean, there's not much more to say. Honestly, everyone keeps talking about how cool it looks, but really, it's just like what the world would look like if the sun was a blacklight and everyone's house was a nightclub. Watching Tron I felt like I was out on Friday night, there was electronic dance music playing and I couldn't see anything, but I wasn't drunk, wasn't dancing and wasn't having fun.  Also I was wearing glasses.

There were three good parts to this movie, the fight/car scenes when Garrett Hedlund (look out for him in Four Brothers!) is in the game before they realize he's a "user" (that's another thing- they tried to have all this cool Tron lingo, but all of it was really too intuitive to be cool. "Programs" are the things that exist inside the game. Imagine that. And the people who play the game are "users"). The second cool thing is this ONE funny line in the entire movie, when Jeff Bridges and his son played by Garrett (Sam, which is the most generic son name anyone could ever have besides Jake) are talking about what terrible shape the world is in, and Sam is numerating, "The ice caps are melting, there's war in the middle east, the Lakers Celtics rivalry..." I think someone behind me in the theatre woke up to chuckle at this, then went back to sleep. The third and final good thing about this movie was Olivia Wilde. For those of us who have been fans of hers since she was potentially a lesbian on the O.C, this was a good little movie for her. She wore the skintight blacksuit well, and had an interesting asymmetrical haircut that I was a huge fan of. You even can't blame her for the trainwreck romance between her & Sam she clearly was forced into, even in the last scene when she and Sam are back in the real world (OH NO I RUINED IT) and he takes her on his motorcycle, and they ride off while watching a sunrise. Because of course before she asked him what the sun was like.  I'm not joking, that was the last scene of the movie, the two of them riding off into the sunset. The only thing that was missing was a female vocalist from the 90's singing while the fade to black then started the credits.

Oh well. Everyone who spends money on this is movie is in my mind split into two groups, people that should have seen The Fighter and people who should have seen Tangled. Yikes.